2010-02-17 / Opinion

“M.R.R.” Heard of it?

Needless to say it has been a long rough week for many people. I am not left out of that group. This past week I have ran the emotional gauntlet. I felt everything from depression, anger, fear, sadness, desperation, anxiety, loneliness, etc. In the past I have not had a positive outlet to disperse those negative feelings. About four years ago all that changed. I discovered a secret method to allieve all those negative thoughts and feelings. I want to share a (until now) secret method/therapy that I came up with for ridding oneself of such feelings. It is simply called “M.R.R.” (Mental Road Release).

I don’t believe that “M.R.R.” is a new method or therapy. I just took a little something called “Road Rage” and gave it a positive spin. As a matter of fact I assume a little “M.R.R.” has been around since the first animal and buggy combination.

Much like our ancestors we often find ourselves annoyed and aggravated by the other (clearly less talented) drivers on the road. It has and will always be that way. You are the best driver out there, and you never make a mistake (It is important to repeat that to yourself until you mean it). Once you master that step you are ready to begin.

“M.R.R.” has just these simple steps to follow in order to have the desired effect. First, you must have a valid driver’s license (and a car would help). Second, you must be willing to leave it all (emotionally) in the car, and NEVER bring it outside of the car. Third, just simply drive on any Michigan roadway that has traffic. And finally, you must take all the negative feelings you have, and be ready to unleash them without holding back.

The above steps all sound easy, right? A lot of us do them every day. Keep it up, but next time do them with a purpose. Let me give you an example.

I was recently driving to work and was cut off by a large Suburban. I was instantly annoyed and angered. I took a deep breath, channeled all my negative energy and feelings, and brought them together in a "symphony" of words unfit for most ears. I even threw in some physical movement (hand gestures if you will). Just like that, a successful experience of “M.R.R.”! (I should note the physical movement is for advanced “M.R.R.” users only). WOW, that was a horrible jerk move on the Suburban’s part, but after I practiced M.R.R. I mentally thanked them, and instantly felt 100% better. It's that easy!

We all know the specific phrases that we use to release negative energy. If you’re like me those phrases can be “colorful”. So, I bet a lot of you are asking, "Great idea Jason, but what do we do when our kids are in the car?" You do not have to worry. There is a way around such situations. Let me give you some sample phrases to use. "STUPID ITCH FLACKER!", "YOU'RE WIGGLING YOUR WAY DOWN UNDER!", "DORA SHOULD EXPLORA DRIVERS ED!", and my personal favorite "POP GOES THE WEASEL!" (An advanced move done with a specific hand gesture out of the view of the children).

I should point out something. There will always be those days where there isn't enough traffic or an inconsiderate driver handy. Just because they aren't available doesn't mean you can't find a source to blow off some steam

I recommend finding a sure fire “M.R.R.” source. This always helps on the days that people are driving more like yourself rather than themselves. My go to spot on those days is a McDonald's in downtown Kalamazoo. The last ten years of my life I have periodically gone to that McDonald's. The only thing they offer that is consistent is their inconsistency (service, food quality, getting your order correct, etc...). I now use that once negative experience to rid myself of a bad day or unwanted feelings. A little “M.R.R.” after I receive my incorrect order and horrible service always makes me feel better, and the majority of the time I just simply eat what was given. It is important to note that there are days that I am just plain hungry. Those days I will just simply go through the drive thru and order a "$5 Bag". This gives me no expectations, and they can't mess it up. I just simply want a bag of food that equals $5.

There is a fine line between “M.R.R.” and "Road Rage". It is the responsibility of you as a driver to choose. "Road Rage" serves no purpose. It only increases anger and negative feelings.

On the other hand when done correctly M.R.R. releases and rids yourself of negative feelings. So I recommend you hop in your car and turn that frown upside down!

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